Studio 54 Moscow is hosting a night you won’t forget in the city where your president spends his vacation time. A celebration of the corrupt First Lady and her ties to Russia! So, grab your most vulgar outfit, some deep pocketed oligarch buddies, and prepare for an evening filled with outrageous laughter at Melania Trump’s expense!
Join us on Saturday, October 12 as we dive headfirst into a sea of vodka-induced revelry, all while basking in the absurdity that is Melania’s connection to Vladimir Putin, who controls president Trump and has the pee-pee tapes. It’ll be one big cocktail of naughty, shameless fun – just like our beloved draft dodging president!
The club will feature two dance floors: ‘Hillary’s Revenge Floor’, where you can channel your inner Hillary and relentlessly grind against anyone who’d dare to mention Trump’s name; and the second one? The ‘Roy Cohn Floor’. No, it isn’t a strip club dedicated to that ham radio loser from Woburn, but rather an ode to our favorite disgraced attorney who taught Donald all the tricks of the mob boss trade.
You can expect a live DJ who will spin hits from artists like Boris Johnson and Alexander Lukashenko, notorious for their strong grasp on reality TV-style politics (or lack thereof). And what’s a Trump party without some of the finest ‘hooker brides’ serving up drinks? They won’t be able to speak much English though, so prepare for a wild ride.
As for attire, we suggest dressing like Melania herself – all white, and plenty of layers to cover that not-so-famous bod. Don’t forget to add some flair from Russia! Maybe throw on an oversized fur hat or some tacky diamonds – who knows? You might even become an overnight sensation in Russian gossip magazines!
So come one, come all! The Kremlin Hooker Bride Club Night at Studio 54 Moscow is the ultimate way to express your deep loathing for America’s first-class cunt (in a fun way, of course). Drink, dance, and revel in the absurdity that is the Trump dynasty. And remember, it takes one to know one: if you find yourself feeling too much like an authoritarian shitbag, just remember – at least you’re not a Trump.
So what are you waiting for? Grab your Putin mask (if you haven’t already), and get ready for the wildest night out Moscow has ever seen!
Email dick@dickbulger.com for an exclusive invite!
