Why CB Radio?

Yes there’s still a lot of losers on CB radio and most of them are racist Magaloid pricks!
So you should do the right thing and troll their sorry asses!

The Citizen’s Band. The people’s frequency. A noble invention born not out of necessity, but out of sheer American boredom.

To answer the question “Why CB radio?” is to gaze deep into the carbureted soul of mid-century America, a time when men wore polyester, women feared microwaves, and children were raised almost exclusively by ashtrays and shag carpet. Picture, if you will, a man in cutoff jean shorts named Randy—shirtless, sunburned, and emotionally unavailable—holding a ham sandwich in one hand and a plastic mic in the other. That, dear reader, is the heart of CB culture.

You see, in the late 1970s, Americans were disillusioned. Nixon was gone, disco was terrifying, and gasoline was more precious than human decency. What the people needed wasn’t reform, or truth, or even affordable healthcare. What they needed… was a way to yell at strangers in nearby Buicks about traffic and conspiracy theories.

CB radio, then, was the original social network—except with more static and fewer Russians. Truckers led the charge, naturally, because they were the last remaining cowboys—only instead of horses, they had Peterbilts with questionable murals on the sides. But soon, the common man caught on. Housewives. Conspiracy theorists. Grown men who really should have been supervising their children.

And lo, the airwaves were filled with glorious nonsense:
“10-4 good buddy, I just saw Elvis buying jerky at the Texaco!”
“Breaker breaker, I got a smoky with a Kodak on mile marker 29!”
And perhaps most poignantly:
“Anybody out there wanna talk? No? Cool. I’ll just cry into my Skoal can.”

But why CB radio now, you ask? Why does it persist in this era of smartphones, Wi-Fi, and internet forums filled with QAnon adjacent theories and photos of meatloaf? Because, simply put: it is the last bastion of glorious analog dysfunction. It’s raw. It’s pointless. It’s beautiful. It’s a place where grown men still use call signs like “Piglet Wrangler” and “Cornhole Commander” with the gravitas of Cold War spies.

So yes, the answer to “Why CB radio?” is both deeply sociological and profoundly sad: Because yelling into the void never goes out of style.

And also because some people still think walkie-talkies are magic.