This week, JD Vance packed his makeup kit up and is hitting the road to Switzerland, where on Friday, he’ll sign the Trump administration surrender to the Iranian clerics. Because no Trump has ever served in the US military, they’re simply not equipped to lead this nation’s great armed forces to victory. The world is laughing at us.
We, the citizenry of America, got from this war:
Higher gas prices
Because nothing says “strategic victory” like making every commute feel like you’re personally funding a carrier strike group.
A nuclear problem that still wasn’t actually solved
Iran’s capabilities may have been damaged, delayed, or rearranged into smaller piles of rubble, but the core issue remained. So basically: very expensive whack-a-mole, but with centrifuges.
More instability in the Middle East
A bold achievement, since that region was famously lacking in volatility before we decided to shake the soda can again.
A confusing “deal” full of caveats, mystery terms, and political spin
The public got a foreign-policy Magic 8 Ball: “Signs point to maybe,” “ask again after the next missile strike,” and “details classified because democracy is adorable.”
Another reminder that wars are sold like easy wins and delivered like unpaid medical bills
Clean. Quick. Decisive. Then suddenly it’s oil prices, troop risk, global blowback, and cable-news goblins explaining why the mess is actually genius. Spectacular governance, if your standard is “fireworks plus invoice.”
AS YOU KNOW this is not the first time the Trump surrender monkey has worked his magic. Here’s his Secretary of State at the signing of America’s surrender to the Taliban during the first administration:
Bonus picture of JD Vance dressed as a woman:
Trump is losing his mind because he knows that Obama’s deal was better for America:
